Akhlaq-Code of Conduct

Standard

I really emphasize on talking to anyone with respect and dignity. No matter how poor or rich, younger or elder they are I always try my best to talk to them with respect not because they deserve it but because this shows me. This shows how I am as a person. I really like it when someone gives me respect and that feeling is priceless. Your good code of conduct can even make a person who dislikes you, start liking you.

I had a teacher who didn’t used to like me and I used to be rude with her too. One day I gave myself a challenge “you know what Ayesha lets make her like you.” I was 16 at that time so, that was quite challenging for me. I started respecting her. No rolling eyes (yes I used to roll my eyes and she used to hate it which used to make me happy :p It was fun seeing her making that angry bird face :p and my whole class used to laugh which was a big reinforcer for me) or negative body language. I used to always complete the homework she gave, be on time, and took part during her lectures. And I succeeded. Lol! I became a good student. She said she loved seeing change in me 🙂 In my heart I still don’t like her but disrespecting her wasn’t giving me anything. Was it? No. By giving someone respect will never make us feel inferior. I am not saying that you should always talk with respect but at least try your best. If you can’t give them respect then don’t even disrespect them specially on the basis of age, color, caste, social or economic status. And if you are way too angry or you hate a person or if you don’t have authority to say anything then keep quiet because there is no use of screaming infront of a mad man. In the end I am going to say “give respect, have respect.” Be a nice human being because this world needs kind and loving people more. 

Advertisements

Her father, Her murderer

Standard


Has it ever happened with you that one day suddenly your friend disappears. She is not attending your phone calls or replying to your text messages? Did it scared you? Did you thought that maybe she is in big trouble? Or someone killed her? Maybe no because at times our friends can be busy in doing something else. We don’t always think about troubled situations specially when things are going pretty well. Well let me share with you my story. I am Sarah. My best friend’s name was Maria. We both were in 10th grade and in same class. Two close friends. She lived next door to me. She moved to this house 8 months ago and somehow we talked to each other and became friends. Not just friends actually, “bestfriends.”  Most of the times either she used to be at my place or I used to be at hers. We both were super shy when it comes to interacting with people. There were a lot of things common between us. She lived with her mother. Her dad left them when she was 14 due to some reasons about which she never told me and I never tried asking her as I was afraid it might hurt her. I lived with my smart, caring daddy. My mother died when I was 7 due to cancer and my dad never got married again. He took great care of me and himself. He meant the world to me. For me he was my mummy and daddy both. 

Things were going pretty well until one day when I texted Maria and she didn’t replied. I was waiting for her to reply but two hours went by and no reply. I thought maybe she is busy that is why she isn’t replying. I had to go to a party with my dad in the evening and it was almost 5pm so, I hurried up and dressed up as we had to leave at 6:00. We came back home quiet late. I was so tired so I slept as we came back. Next morning when I woke up first thing I did was, I checked my phone but still there was no reply from Maria. It was sunday. I peeked through my window but I couldn’t see anything as all the curtains of her house were down. I decided to go at her place and ask what happened? I started knocking her door. Fifteen minutes passed by and nobody came to open the door. The car was parked in the garage so, I assumed at least her mother is home but then why isn’t she responding? I peeked through the window. The curtain was moving due to wind. What I saw next was horrifying. 

I saw Maria’s body covered in blood on the floor. I screamed and hurriedly ran to my house. I picked up my phone and called the police. Soon after few minutes the police came. I told them what I saw. They broke down the door and entered the house. Then what we saw next was even more frightening.

There was not just only one dead body but three; Mariah, her mother, and her father. I lost my senses and fainted. When I gained my senses, I found myself on a hospital’s bed. My daddy was standing next to my bed. I started crying heavily. I couldn’t believe that my bestfriend was no longer with me. My mind and heart were not ready to accept this brutal reality. I asked my daddy did he got any news about what happened that night? He hugged me tightly and said nobody knows yet what happened. Police will find out soon and they will inform us. I was in severe trauma. I was thinking about what could have possibly gone wrong. The same day I got discharged and we went back to our house.

A week passed by. On monday morning a police officer came and told us the mystery behind the death of the family. What he told us was horrifying yet astonishing. He said Maria’s father became a drug addict 4 years ago. Her mother tried her best to workout things but he never stopped doing drugs. His boss kicked him out from the job as he used to come drunk to the office. He never tried applying for other jobs. Soon he started asking for money from Maria’s mother, who was a nurse in a private hospital, for drugs and when she used to refuse to give him any he used to beat her. He left them one day without telling where he was going and never came back. Maria’s mother got a job in a new place so they moved to a new house which was next to ours. Maria’s father never contacted them once in two years. Suddenly one day he came to meet them which was a week ago. He was drunk. He asked for money from Maria’s mother. She refused to give him any. They started arguing. Maria’s dad got really mad. In anger he shot both of them and after shooting them he felt so guilty he shot himsef too. I couldn’t believe what I saw or what I just heard. It was all like a bad dream to me.  I couldn’t stop crying. I crashed to the ground in agony. My daddy helped me in getting up.

How can someone kill their own family for the sake of money? And money for what? Drugs! Disgusting. How can someone kill his little princess for whom he waited months to come to this world and call him daddy. How can someone give drugs more importance over his family. How? He didn’t just killed his family, he killed a part of my life. He killed my only bestfriend, my soulmate, my sister, my gem. People die but memories never die. I miss her so much. 

To a lovely friend who will be missed forever!

The angels looked down from heaven one night
They searched for miles afar,
And deep within the distance
They could see a shining star.

They knew that very instant
That the star was theirs to gain,
So they took you up to heaven
Forever to remain.

Look down on us from heaven
Keep us free from hurt and pain,
You’ll always be within my heart
Until we meet again.
Love,
Sara.

 

Quotations which keeps me alive

Standard

I have to deal with roller coaster of emotions almost every single day. At times my anxiety stays for a week but still I don’t give up and you know what, what keeps me motivated? 

1. My faith in Allah. Every time, every single time if something problematic comes I pray “Ya Allah! I know this is your plan just help me through it. Ameen. 

2. I read some quotations! 3. 

4.

5.

6.

7. 

8. 

9.

10.

11.

12. 

13. 

14. 

15. 

16. 

 17. 

18. 

19.

20. 

Ameen:)

I hope it will help you too 🙂 

Change and Acceptance 🌸

Standard

I am going to talk about change and acceptance simultaneously. Let’s start with change. So what comes to your mind when you hear the word change? Is it changing setting of your room or changing your thought pattern, changing your style, changing a bad habit or changing anything that comes to your mind. 

Many people are afraid of change because change means something new, something different,  maybe something risky. Personally speaking off I was really afraid of change. I was the person who knew that my thought pattern was very negative but still I was not accepting the fact that It is high time I should bring change and I tell you I had to go through so much trouble because of my thinking pattern. But at least one day I decided and took the risk of thinking positively and changed my thought pattern. It almost took six months! I know, I know six months is a long time but finally I changed. It is never too late to change for good. Even after such a long time I accepted the fact that I need to change my thought pattern and with acceptance came along change. It is good to accept things the way they are and then modify things if they are no good for you. This change brought colours to my life. I can’t tell you guys in how much peace I am! Acceptance is a crucial part of life. If we are not going to accept what the situation is then we won’t be able to understand the situation fully and it will be difficult to live, to breath. Accepting people the way they are no matter how different they are from you, most important thing is ‘accepting yourself’. I wanted to share with you guys a problem that I faced during 18 years of my life was that I had a lot of problem in making friends. Whenever I used to get to know that my friend likes something different than me, or she has a boyfriend (which is something that I never want for myself so how can I accept it for others), or that she lied to me once, I used to distance myself asap. I never used to consider the fact that they have a good heart or they are human beings who are capable of making mistakes. I was really annoyed that why I can’t make good friends. I talked to myself and explained myself that I am never going to find someone who is exactly a copy of me yes there would be things that would be common between us but there would be things that will be different because we are all individual human beings. So one day I sat down and had self-talk with myself and when I dig down deeper I realized that I never accepted myself for the way I am. I wrote down what I like and what I dislike and accepted myself, my identity and as soon I was able to accept myself, I was able to accept others for the way they are. I realized that for accepting others it is very important to accept yourself. Now what I look in other people is beauty of heart and even if I don’t like them I accept them for the way they are no matter how different they are from me. If people are different from me I don’t hate or dislike them. Alhamdulillah I am able to interact with different people because I am not afraid of change anymore. Yes, still today when I realize that there is something that I need to change It makes me feel a bit anxious but I am able to fight with it and I bring out change if it is necessary!

If change is what scares you too first realize what is that needs to be change or modify then start taking baby steps but don’t be too hard on yourself. It is okay to change for good. Right kind of change will also bring colors to your life as it brought to mine and I bet you will not regret. 🙂

Goals

Standard

I always write about things that I personally follow. For I believe there is no use of telling someone to do something without following it by myself.
So today I am going to talk about “GOALS”.
Usually everyone has some goals in life that they work hard to achieve. Goals makes us feel worthy and fulfils our need for achievement. Goals can be made on daily basis or it could be long term. A simple example of a goal could be daily making up your bed before leaving for university, school or office. Your goals must be: SMART!

Short term goals helps us to achieve our long term goals. I really believe in short term goals, because it gives me feeling of accomplishment much more earlier than the long term ones which keeps me motivated. But you need to be consistent in order to achieve your goals and this process will definitely require lots of patience.

I always wanted to be more active and for that I started from a really basic goal which was making up my bed before leaving for university. For one week I just did that, then next week I added up another goal which was cleaning my cupboard after two days, then I continued adding weekly goals as the time passed. And one day came when I was able to achieve my long term goal that was to be active with the help of these short term goals that I made on weekly basis.

See goals are very crucial in life. Goals gives meaning to our life. At times to survive goals are very important. I believe one should know why they are doing and what they are doing. What is the purpose behind doing something? Like it was really important for me to tell myself that why I am working so hard to get a certain gpa? I am achieving my goals but why I am doing what I am doing? The answer was to be a better human being, to help myself, and to help others. These goals gave meaning to my life. 

So if you were like me who never used to make goals and just went with the flow, lets think about some goals now. Take out a paper and write them. For example if your long term goal is to get a bachelor’s degree, your short term goals could be:
-Daily revising what you learned in class.
-Completing projects on time.
-Putting your best effort in completing tasks that you are assigned, etc,. After you have achieved your long term goal give reward to yourself. Pamper yourself 🙂 But if you were not able to achieve your goals don’t be too hard on yourself. Modify your goals and give your best and don’t lose hope. Failure is a part of life and it teaches us valuable lessons.

Yes it is very important to make goals and they play a vital role in our life!  Good luck 🙂

Boredom can make you blissfully creative! :)

Standard

Boredom is something we all face especially during summer break. I get bore easily. I have vacations for like 3 months and I am a bit worried about how will I spend that much time. I want to do something constructive because overthinking, or scrolling is not good for my mental health at all.  So I decided to deal with my boredom by doing following things:

1. I run an account on instagram by the name ayesha_raf96

2. I made a drawing book for myself for drawing and coloring in mandalas.

3. I post one picture at least everyday of a drawing.

4. I love drawing henna too so I draw henna on my niece, my sister or on my own hand just to kill time.

5. I am also reading this book emotional intelligence by Daniel Goleman nowadays.

6. I paint stones with my niece at times to keep her and myself busy.

7. I will make some cards too as I love to make handmade cards. I guess the best thing that I can give someone is my time and my love 🙂

8. I am learning to drive.

9. I baby sit my niece and nephew from 7am till 3pm.

10. I watch at least two movies in a day!

So I have pretty much busy routine. Baby sitting from 7am till 3pm. Then I watch some movies and after maghrib or after 8pm I draw! That is my routine nowadays. It is good to keep oneself busy in doing something constructive 🙂

Don’t get bore! Find something constructive to do. It can be anything that is of your interest 🙂

KINDNESS? Kind & strong people

Standard

We all have heard these sentences at least once in our lives that, “be a good human being, be nice to people, respect your elders”, from sometimes people who are oppositive of kind or sometimes people who try to be kind but it doesn’t works in their case. But their are people who show by being an example for us that there are people who are kind and genuine. They are few but there are some of them. Those few gems because of whom I believe this place called earth is worth living for. I will tell you the qualities of kind or genuine people that I have known through my experience of 20 years:

1. They are honest. By honest I mean they are who they are. They don’t pretend to be someone else. If they say they will keep something confidential they will!

2. They respect everyone regardless of age, status, color or caste because their moral values doesn’t allow to disrespect anyone. They know we are all individual beings and maybe for me what is okay is not okay for others.

3. They criticize constructively which means saying something positive, then criticizing, and then again saying something positive because their aim is to bring out positivity not to hurt anyone.

4. They feel comfortable in their own skin. They are proud of who they are. They accept themselves and others for who they are. Definitely if one will feel comfortable in their own skin only then they will be able to achieve stage of self-actulization.

5. They love unconditionally. Yes if someone has done something wrong that behavior that he/she has shown is wrong not they themselves as a person. There is good and bad in everyone and we should always work towards polishing the good side and modifying the negative aspect of oneself.

6. They are not dependent on anyone emotionally or physically. They do have loyal relationships and they know their limits to get attach. They know that being dependent on anyone excessively will exhaust themselves. They control the remote of their lives. When you are independent only then you are able to help yourself as well as others too.

7. They help others without knowing the world how much they have contributed because their aim is to help others not the world to know how big heart they have.

8. They have stable personality and they have firm control over their emotions. If they feel angry they will take it out in a healthy way like running, taking a warm bath, drawing or coloring, etc. They are able to control their emotions that’s why they don’t hurt other person’s feelings in anger.

9. They are strong. Yes they also have their low moments but they don’t let it take control over them. They know how to stand again for themselves or for anyone who needs them.

10. Last but not least they are the most wise people you will ever meet and if you do, try sticking with them for as long as you can as it will be a journey worth taking for.  They will play the role of light in their lives as well as in others too.

“Life is all about making mistakes, repenting, learning from the experience, and most important bringing the change. We are all equal. We all have strength and courage to bring out positive change in ourselves. You will only be able to be light if you are comfortable in your skin. Be strong but be kind. We can do anthing in which we put are mind to”.