So I have observed people saying they want to be independent. That is all they say. Most people like the Idea of Independence. Independence is a mindset. You want to be independent it starts with you. Want to know how? By helping yourself. And I mean it. Take care of yourself, your diet. Eat proper meals on time. You need to know how to wash your own clothes, if not cook at least wash your own dishes. When you come back from job, university, or school change your clothes and put them back at their place. Do your work by yourself. Manage your expenses in the amount you are given. If you have flower pots give them water daily. You have a pet take care of it. Handle responsibilities carefully. Just imagine you are living on your own. Feel the taste of Independence. See Independence is same like love. Let me tell you how. If you will keep on waiting for someone to love you that won’t happen. Because you don’t even know how to love yourself. You haven’t set your own boundaries. Same goes for Independence. Imagine you are independent and you don’t know how to cook (imagine you don’t have a house helper), you don’t know how to wash your own clothes, you are not able to handle your expenses, and with that you study or you have a job, you will end up like a person with a broken leg. Suppose if that person is still trying to walk with the same leg it will only get worse. The best thing would be to put a plaster on it and take rest for some time. And if you know how to do everything and still want to be Independent then lets be patient and look for an opportunity like maybe getting a scholarship and studying abroad or maybe looking for a job in another city. All human beings need to learn how to stand on their own. A young child’s mother leaves the hand of her child at one point so that the child can learn how to balance his/her weight and walk on his/her own. She cannot hold her childs hand for forever. Same way you and I need to learn how to do some things, which are necessary for living, on our own. You will be Independent at one point in life and if you know how to help yourself it will only be beneficial for you. In the mean time help yourself and those around you.
There are days when I feel low and one thing that helps me to calm down is my faith in Allah. I pray for myself as much as I can. I listen to Quran (with translation) which helps me to relax. Some of the duas which help me to calm down are mentioned below:
The Prophet ﷺ said, “Ask Allah with certainty that He will answer your prayers.” (Tirmidhi)
And he ﷺ reassured us, “Verily your Lord is Generous and Shy. If His servant raises his hands to Him (in supplication) He becomes shy to return them empty.” (Ahmad)
He WILL answer. This is Al Mujeeb! The One Who responds! Al Wadud- The Loving!
“When God inspires your tongue to ask, know that He wants to give.” – Ibn AtaAllah
Duas – For anxiety and sorrow
اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَعْوذُ بِكَ مِنَ الهَمِّ وَ الْحَزَنِ، وَالعَجْزِ وَالْكَسَلِ، والبُخْلِ والْجُبْنِ، وضَلَعِ الدَّيْنِ وغَلَبَةِ الرِّجَالِ
Allaahumma ‘innee ‘a’oothu bika minal-hammi walhazani, wal’ajzi walkasali, walbukhli waljubni, wa dhala’id-dayni wa ghalabatir-rijaal.
O Allah, I seek refuge in you from grief and sadness, from weakness and from laziness, from miserliness and from cowardice, from being overcome by debt and overpowered by men. Ameen.
اَللَّهُمَّ اغْفِرْلِيْ وَارْحَمْنِي وَعَافِنِي وَاهْدِنِيْ وَارْزُقْنِيْ.
(ابو داؤد، السنن، کتاب الصلاة، باب الدعا بين السجدتين، 1 : 322، رقم : 850)
*’’اے ﷲ! مجھے بخش دے، مجھ پر رحم فرما، مجھے عافیت دے، مجھے ہدایت پر قائم رکھ اور مجھے روزی عطا فرما۔‘‘*
May Allah protect us all, give us strength and peace. Ameen.
Use those talents you have. You will make it. You will give joy to the world. Take this tip from nature: The woods would be a very silent place if no birds sang except those who sang best.
People spring in and out of our lives because each individual has a reason and season in our journey. Season to be witnessed and reason to be fulfilled. With people we share a part of our lives, a part of ourselves. Each season ends with a lesson and each reason fulfilled with a hope. A single strand of hope which has the power to change the course of life, if not the efficacy to move mountains.
Accept and respect are two ordinary words that we all know. They both might sound quite similar but there is a huge difference between accepting someone or respecting someone. For me accepting something/someone means we believe the beliefs or views of other person whereas respecting someone means we understand that the other person is an individual human being and we simply respect them for being who they are. We don’t believe in what they are saying or who they are but we just listen to them, give them freedom to speak and deal them with courtesy. And it is totally okay. For example I don’t like watching dramas of any kind at all as they don’t promote anything positive and most of the time everyone is crying, or shouting therefore I believe media is playing a role of slow poison for the youth. However my friends love watching dramas. So, just because for me it is time wasting it doesn’t mean everyone should stop watching dramas, it might serves as an entertainment for others. We don’t need to accept every thing. We are all human beings and each one of us see the world from a very unique lens. People can be very different from us and it is okay. We don’t have to push ourselves to believe in something we don’t want to. We do not need to accept in order to respect.
Many people who have dark complexion, face humiliating comments by the society. The ones who are emotionally strong succeeds in ignoring those comments and they look at themselves with love because God has made them and He is the best of all artists. They feel comfortable in their own skin. They know what others say/think about them is not the point of view they have of themselves. But some are severly affected by those comments. Remember dark skin tone, medium skin tone, light skin tone they are all beautiful.
To all those people who unintentionally or intentionally tell others that they are black or in my mother language they say kaali, taway jesa rang hai is ka, or they are told to use fairness creams. Stop! It is high time. Stop calling others with hurtful nicknames. Stop making others feel bad about themselves. Stop hurting others. Don’t try making them believe your concept of beauty!
And to all those strong people out there who have faced these harsh comments, listen! “What others say about you doesn’t matter at all. Beauty of heart matters. If you are a good human being that is what matters. Feel confident and comfortable in your own skin. Love yourself unconditionally for you are as important as anyone else is!”
I know it is easier said than done. It is tough but I believe you are stronger than this. You are beautiful and smart in your own way.
We can be the change we wish to see.
I love complementing people, telling them they are caring, beautiful, smart, or simply telling them I feel happy when they are around. It may seem like I am sugary/very sweet but that is a part of my personality. I genuinely love complementing people. I do that by heart and In Shaa Allah I will continue doing that. See life is tough and maybe by saying one kind word, meeting someone with excitement, giving them a tiny little card and telling them how precious they are can make someone happy even for a second, it is worth it! We don’t know what the other person is going through, every single one of us is fighting a battle, and when we put positivity out there into the universe our own self becomes a happier person. So the moral of the post is be kind, give complements, love yourself, love others, and spread positivity.
-poem by Marinela Reka
(Be a rainbow in someone else’s cloud.)