As black as coal

Many people who have dark complexion, face humiliating comments by the society. The ones who are emotionally strong succeeds in ignoring those comments and they look at themselves with love because God has made them and He is the best of all artists. They feel comfortable in their own skin. They know what others say/think about them is not the point of view they have of themselves. But some are severly affected by those comments. Remember dark skin tone, medium skin tome, light skin tone they are all beautiful.

To all those people who unintentionally or intentionally tell others that they are black or in my mother language they say kaali, taway jesa rang hai is ka, or they are told to use fairness creams. Stop! It is high time. Stop calling others with hurtful nicknames. Stop making others feel bad about themselves. Stop hurting others. Don’t try making them believe your concept of beauty!

And to all those strong people out there who have face these harsh comments, listen! “What others say about you doesn’t matter at all. Beauty of heart matters. If you are a good human being that is what matters. Feel confident and comfortable in your own skin. Love yourself unconditionally for you are as important as anyone else is!”

I know it is easier said than done. It is tough but I believe you are stronger than this. You are beautiful and smart in your own way.

We can be the change we wish to see.




I love complementing people, telling them they are caring, beautiful, smart, or simply telling them I feel happy when they are around. It may seem like I am sugary/very sweet but that is a part of my personality. I genuinely love complementing people. I do that by heart and In Shaa Allah I will continue doing that. See life is tough and maybe by saying one kind word, meeting someone with excitement, giving them a tiny little card and telling them how precious they are can make someone happy even for a second, it is worth it! We don’t know what the other person is going through, every single one of us is fighting a battle, and when we put positivity out there into the universe our own self becomes a happier person. So the moral of the post is be kind, give complements, love yourself, love others, and spread positivity.

“Kind words are precious
And like a cherry sweet
its enough; just one or two
to give the heart a treat

They are just like fairies
To love- they lead the way
No matter what situation
Just one can make your day

They work magically
Turning a frown into a smile
Your words, believe it or not
Makes someone’s life worthwhile.”

-poem by Marinela Reka

(Be a rainbow in someone else’s cloud.)


Why is it so vital to talk to yourself positively? Because the way we talk to ourself determines how much we value ourself. Do we care about ourself the way we care about others? Are we kind to ourself? Do we give unconditional love to ourself? 
The single significant factor in influencing our thoughts and our actions is self-talk. Listen to your thoughts and it will unveil the greatest influencing factor in your life. For example I made a mistake either I can tell myself you are careless or I can assure myself that next time I will be careful. And wise is the person who accepts his/her mistake and learns from it. We are human beings capable of making mistakes. We need to understand that there are times going to come when we will feel like we can’t do enough, be enough and that’s the time we need to tell ourselves that ‘I am doing my best, and that is what matters.’ 

Being kind to yourself is as important as being kind to others. Try not to compare yourself to anyone. We are not perfect beings. We are all unique in our own way. One thing can be your strength while the same thing can be the weakness of the other person. Believe in yourself, have faith in yourself. Have positive private speech (self-talk). Appreciate yourself even when no one appreciates you, give kind, beautiful comments to yourself, be gentle with yourself. Take care of yourself. Be the source of light for yourself as well as for others too. 

May God give us strength to deal with whatever we are going through and make us all strong. Ameen. 

*(My posts are also for myself so that when I feel down I can read it and remind myself once again I have the power to modify my thoughts)*

Sometimes it is okay🍃

Sometimes it is okay to feel how you feel whether you are sad, disappointed, frustrated, or angry. Accepting your feelings is a crucial part of life. Just feel how you feel. Tell yourself that you are willing to experience your thoughts and feelings without judging them as good or bad. Take a deep breath and say, “I understand that struggling against my feelings leads to more suffering than simply experiencing them as they are.” “My thoughts are something that I have. They are not who I am.” “They are not always the complete truth and I do not have to act on them.” Sometimes the best thing to do is to lie down, to relax, and to feel how you feel. Take deep breaths. It is okay to be sad, to be frustrated, to be angry. What matters is how you react. You didn’t gave your feelings importance or you simply acknowledged how you felt? Maybe meditation, walk, jogging, or any healthy coping strategy seems useless for the time being but it is not useless. Maybe taking deep breaths will make you feel like this is non-sense what am I even doing but it works. With time I have come to realize that in my case meditation is my happy pill which helps me to calm down. I sometimes close my eyes, imagine I am lying down on the grass, there are clouds floating in the sky with the label of my feelings on it, I take deep breaths and simply observe them floating. It helps me to calm down and relax when I feel stressed or when I feel mad about something and I can’t do anything. Oh meditation my happy pill. 💊 

I found an obliging account on instagram by the name breathe_away which is the best account for deep breathing exercise plus I love their quotations. Do check their account if you are searching for some good deep breathing apps or accounts. Hope it will help you too. 🌠

Akhlaq-Code of Conduct

I really emphasize on talking to anyone with respect and dignity. No matter how poor or rich, younger or elder they are I always try my best to talk to them with respect not because they deserve it but because this shows me. This shows how I am as a person. I really like it when someone gives me respect and that feeling is priceless. Your good code of conduct can even make a person who dislikes you, start liking you.

I had a teacher who didn’t used to like me and I used to be rude with her too. One day I gave myself a challenge “you know what Ayesha lets make her like you.” I was 16 at that time so, that was quite challenging for me. I started respecting her. No rolling eyes (yes I used to roll my eyes and she used to hate it which used to make me happy :p It was fun seeing her making that angry bird face :p and my whole class used to laugh which was a big reinforcer for me) or negative body language. I used to always complete the homework she gave, be on time, and took part during her lectures. And I succeeded. Lol! I became a good student. She said she loved seeing change in me 🙂 In my heart I still don’t like her but disrespecting her wasn’t giving me anything. Was it? No. By giving someone respect will never make us feel inferior. I am not saying that you should always talk with respect but at least try your best. If you can’t give them respect then don’t even disrespect them specially on the basis of age, color, caste, social or economic status. And if you are way too angry or you hate a person or if you don’t have authority to say anything then keep quiet because there is no use of screaming infront of a mad man. In the end I am going to say “give respect, have respect.” Be a nice human being because this world needs kind and loving people more. 

Boredom can make you blissfully creative! :)

Boredom is something we all face especially during summer break. I get bore easily. I have vacations for like 3 months and I am a bit worried about how will I spend that much time. I want to do something constructive because overthinking, or scrolling is not good for my mental health at all.  So I decided to deal with my boredom by doing following things:

1. I run an account on instagram by the name ayesha_raf96

2. I made a drawing book for myself for drawing and coloring in mandalas.

3. I post one picture at least everyday of a drawing.

4. I love drawing henna too so I draw henna on my niece, my sister or on my own hand just to kill time.

5. I am also reading this book emotional intelligence by Daniel Goleman nowadays.

6. I paint stones with my niece at times to keep her and myself busy.

7. I will make some cards too as I love to make handmade cards. I guess the best thing that I can give someone is my time and my love 🙂

8. I am learning to drive.

9. I baby sit my niece and nephew from 7am till 3pm.

10. I watch at least two movies in a day!

So I have pretty much busy routine. Baby sitting from 7am till 3pm. Then I watch some movies and after maghrib or after 8pm I draw! That is my routine nowadays. It is good to keep oneself busy in doing something constructive 🙂

Don’t get bore! Find something constructive to do. It can be anything that is of your interest 🙂

Drowning beneath the waves or Dying from the thirst!

(This is the story that I wrote during my creative writing class as it was an assignment. Just feelings of a girl who is in depression.)a976da23e035facb942fa60c08525d21

I was tossing and turning on my bed. My eyes are tired. My body is tired. I am tired of myself! It is difficult to breathe. It is as if I am trying to breathe oxygen but all I am inhaling is carbon monoxide. My throat and neck hurts as if someone is squeezing it tightly. My toes and fingers have turned blue. My heartbeat is running so fast that it makes me feel like it is about to explode. What is happening? Suddenly my face turned blue. Oh no! Not again!

Once again these shadows have taken over my reality. Another major attack of anxiety and depression. My mind has become the worst enemy of my soul and my body. What is happening to me? My bones are aching, my body’s shaking. I have forgotten how to live. I don’t know how to think normally or how to make this feeling run away? I tried getting up from my bed, walking around unsteadily and started taking deep breaths. I looked at myself in the mirror. The mirror me was screaming, shouting, laughing at me and telling me that “I am worthless, shameless, little ungrateful chicken.” Please stop! Please stop.

A young girl withering away in full bloom. My whole body is crying out loudly. It feels like as if someone is constantly poking my naked wounds. My thoughts are my enemy. I never realized when I gave this monster the permission to take control over me. I can’t fight with my demons. I am so tired! I am so tired! My mind is a mess. It is aching so badly. I decided to take a warm bath to control my anxiety and to relax a bit. Ah! It is soothing but it is also making me feel like I am drowning. Suddenly an idea came on my mind.

Let’s end it. Let’s end everything. No past, no future. Just nothing. I got up, dressed up and slowly jumped out of the window without letting anyone know. I ran quickly to reach my destination. Here I am standing in front of the suicide bridge “the golden gate.” I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Finally everything will be over now. I was about to jump when someone grabbed me from my waste and pulled me back. I shrieked, “Please leave me. Let me die. Let me end this years of pain and sorrow. Leave me! Leave me!” It was difficult to look who stopped me from dying through my watery eyes but it seems like a tall young lady, wearing grey track suit. She helped me standing up and made me sit on the bench near the bridge. She is talking, and asking questions from me but I can’t understand what she is saying. “Please excuse me. I’m so tired that it is painful for me to talk. Leave me alone.” Out of the blue she slapped me.

I started crying heavily. She hugged me. After few minutes of crying I began to answer her questions. She listened to my non-sense, dramatic story while holding my hand. I realized I haven’t opened myself lately which has made my mental illness worse. Crying and blurting out everything left me a bit light as if a heavy burden has been taken off from my shoulders. I felt a bit better. I looked at my watch and realized that it’s getting late. I should be heading home before someone finds out that I am missing. We exchanged our numbers. I thanked her for saving my life, for listening to me patiently and than I went back to my home.

I decided on my way back to home that I am going to bring major changes in my life. I am going to fight with my demons till they run away. I am drowning and there is only one person that can stop this monster. That’s me! myself! I am going to bring back my sunshine. I will find my beautiful soul again. I entered my room which looked like fish market; smelly and dirty. I cleaned everything up, made myself a cup of mint green tea and drank it while sitting on my comfy bed. My eyes flashed on the mirror to my soul and I heard hope telling me “Oh my beautiful child you are going to be alright. You have taken the first step towards light and soon you will find your sunshine. You are not worthless or shameless. There is good and bad in every person. The situation in which you are in will pass soon because it is temporary not you as a person. Keep breathing my child for you are very brave.” I put the empty cup on the side table and covered myself with the warm comforter. I slept with the intention that from now on I will make each and every second of my life worth living for.